They say depression comes from being trapped in memories of the past, while anxiety stems from worrying about the future. This year was about revisiting those memories to heal and make peace with the past, so I could build something better ahead.
I found a Jay Shetty video about feeling stuck that completely shifted my perspective. He said: "You're not actually stuck. There's a part of you that's grieving your past self." Then he shared a Zen teaching that states, "What's holding you back is what you're holding onto." What was I clinging to that kept me trapped?
For me, it was my mindset. I used to need everything to fit this perfect, traditional mold - the "right" way things were supposed to be. But then life happened in ways that didn't follow my plan. And instead of embracing where I was, I felt ashamed of it. Like I'd failed somehow by not following the path I thought I was supposed to take.
But like Jay said, there's a moment when you finally unclench your fists and stop trying to control every wave. You suddenly realize you weren't stuck, you were just holding on too tight. This whole year has been about learning to surrender. Letting the current take me instead of fighting it. And the crazy thing? In all that releasing, in all that trusting the flow, I've found more peace than I ever had when I was trying to control everything.
This week, I celebrated my journey including every milestone and struggle that brought me here. And as if the universe aligned just for me, I met the world-renowned artist, Steve R. Allen, alongside the very gallery manager who facilitated the sale of one of my first paintings, "Mahogany."
Steve Allen, generous with his wisdom, shared his story behind building a legacy. And when I admitted to feeling lost as an artist, he asked me:
"Would you rather be known as an artist for an animation company or a name that stands on its own?"
The realization hit me with absolute certainty. I didn’t just want to create art, I wanted to build a legacy. My art on gallery walls and designs in homes. I wanted my work to shape something greater than myself.
So I moved with purpose. My online shop went live, its debut piece being my signature faux leather tote (more coming soon). When an artist call appeared, I submitted immediately. Then came the moment that still feels surreal: standing beside my long-lost painting "Mahogany," years of searching culminating into that perfect reunion.
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These milestones mean everything because I finally understand that my path was never meant to mirror others, as it’s unique. That's what this rebrand represents: it's about my growth, the blossoming of myself as an artist, company and person. This is my coming fully into my own.
Here’s to another year of authenticity and success!
